I feel like there’s a handbook that people are reading when it comes to putting people in the friendzone. If someone doesn’t want to date you, but they still want to sleep with you, there are some key lines you should recognize. For example:
“I’m not looking for anything serious right now.”
“I think you’re really great but im just not ready for a relationship.”
“We can hang out but I don’t know if i’m going to be able to give you what you want.”
“Let’s just take it day by day and see what happens.”
“I’m too busy for a relationship. I have a lot going on right now.”
Ever heard any of those? If you have, you’re dealing with someone who is not at all ready to settle down or who isn’t that into you. Because trust and believe that if someone likes you and is interested, they will not let anything jeopardize you potentially being with someone else. That is basically what it comes down to when it comes to being in a committed relationship versus casually dating or hooking up when its convenient.
If someone cares about you and is interested in you, they’ll figure it out, they’ll put in the effort and they’ll do everything to prove slowly but surely that they want you.
Here’s another one:
“We can hang out, be friends and whatever happens happens. I mean we all have needs.”
Yeah. We do all have needs. So let’s not undermine someone else’s need for loyalty and commitment just because we’re too selfish and insecure to commit ourselves to trying to give them what they want. It’s not that the person isn’t actually able to give you what you want, it’s that they just dont want to.
So don’t fall into the trap of thinking maybe there is more to it. We tend to make excuses for people when there is really no reason to.
You will know if someone likes you. But liking you isn’t always enough to make it work.
People will do the bare minimum if you allow it. But why should you settle and waste your time for someone who isnt going to at least match your effort and give you what you deserve? Don’t you want more for yourself than that?
We all should.
So stop settling if you know its not what you want. Make your end intentions clear. It doesn’t mean you’ll always end up where you want, but at least there will likely be fewer blurred lines and potential for meeting your needs. Because in my experience, as soon as you speak up for yourself, it weeds out people who are trying to take advantage of you and allows you to see what people are truly all about.
Sure it sucks when you get rejected, but think of it as a blessing in disguise. It’s like “the trash taking itself out.” Now you don’t have to do it later.