December 6, 2016
In order to be successful at something, there are four things required: motivation, research, effort and perseverance. If you look at successful people, they’ve generally done the above. People don’t get what they want by sitting around waiting for good things to happen. With that being said, relationships are not any different.
A lot of people get discouraged when they’ve had bad experiences and feel like giving up on dating. However, by the time that people get to this point it can actually be a good thing. How? Because it means that they know exactly what they do and don’t want and they aren’t going to settle for less.
Seeing the consequences of failed marriages/relationships often causes people to lose hope. As a result, young adults have progressively started focusing more on their careers, families and selves, putting love on the back burner at times. Generally people who are happily single are keeping themselves occupied by working on their goals and doing things they enjoy. Having goals and confidence is not only beneficial in success in your personal life; it’s also incredibly attractive to others. That’s why usually people say that when they don’t want a relationship, everyone is contacting them. And when they do, nobody is interested. People like to know that others have things going for them because it’s a big turn on.
People are often afraid to put themselves out there for the fear of being rejected /hurt. Or maybe they have incredibly high expectations and have had bad experiences from other dating apps in the past. However, females make the first move on Bumble, removing any bruises to someone’s self esteem since it requires a mutual match to move forward. So technically, you have a win-win at this point. That alone, however, is not going to cut it.
Wouldn’t it be great to just go to a store and meet the love of your life? Sure… But that doesn’t really happen anymore. You already have the motivation to find a partner, right? So now you just have to put forth the effort and treat it like you would with any other goal/job. Do your research, look at your options and figure out what’s going to be best for you. Then get it.
The “getting to know you” process can actually be fun and exciting. It’s really nice when you know there’s already a mutual attraction and you get to learn new things about someone new. You also have a clean slate (so present yourself wisely).
It’s important to keep realistic expectations during this process, though. Just because someone is attractive doesn’t mean that they’ll be a good match for you. Be open-minded and enjoy the process. Being single is like being rich, because you’re not forced to settle for less than you deserve or deal with nonsense. You’re in charge of your life. You make your own choices, when you want, how you want, where you want…with anyone you want. Take advantage of that and own it.
In order to be successful at reaching your end goal, you can’t give up. So even if you have a bad date or two, that doesn’t mean they’re all going to be bad. Have fun with it. Be honest with each other and remember that there’s no deadline on “success.” You might not reach your goal as fast as you’d like, but that doesn’t mean you’re a failure. You’re selective… and you have every right to be.
But what a beautiful thing it is to have options, isn’t it?